Photo by Huy Nguyen on Unsplash
Is it because Spring is in the air? Who knows. I woke up feeling a little bit down this morning. A milestone birthday is a few days away and I suddenly thought: ‘Why am I hanging on to things in my wardrobe that I will never wear again?’
Having put on a few extra pounds over the last couple of years, I have always lived in the hope of shifting them. But that just hasn’t happened. Lord, I have tried. I really have. And so it’s time to face up to facts. I am who I am, and I am comfortable with that. I used to be a slender UK size 10 for years, then edged towards a UK size 12. I have now edged closer to a UK size 14, which is comfortable to wear. I am tired of squeezing into a size 12, only to find that I can’t breathe half the time or, worse still, live in fear of a zip or seam busting open. And so it was that this morning, unbeknown to me at the time, that I had to face up to a stark realization. I had to get rid of half of the clothes hanging in my wardrobe (sorry, closet).
The walk-in closet pictured is my idea of heaven. A place for everything and everything in its place. That’s me. A bit of a neat freak. Not overly so. No OCD tendencies. I just like to be able to find something in an instant.
Flinging open my wardrobe doors, (drum roll for dramatic effect), I started pulling out blouses that I used to wear to the office, probably over a decade ago, and have not seen the light of day in years. Dresses that I once squeezed into, sorry, slipped into effortlessly, and have been in denial ever since that I might, once again, dare dream to squeeze into them one last time. A jumpsuit that I hadn’t squeezed into for years but was lurking in the middle of my clothes, in the hope of being worn and seeing the light of day once more.
Oh boy! This feels good. I ended up with a pile of clothes almost a meter tall! All will be recycled and sold on Vinted or go to my local charity shop. There is nothing wrong with them. Some have only been worn once or twice. Others looked shabby. They have been cut up and will be used as rags. I am from the generation of ‘waste not, want not.’ I can remember my Mum cutting the buttons off of every item of clothing she re-cycled, removing zips and re-using them. I am not a seamstress and would spend more time trying to take them out than would be good for my mental health.
Having thinned my wardrobe down (God, I wish it were that simple to thin me down), I could actually see what was in there. Shock horror, I discovered a beautiful dress and a rather nifty black velvet jumpsuit (of a comfortable size), that I had completely forgotten about. I purchased them in December for all the Christmas parties that I ended up not going to.
Feeling so much more positive after this cleansing exercise, I now know that when I go into my wardrobe, I can actually wear what is hanging up in there. I will treat myself to one or two new outfits. After all, a girl’s wardrobe needs boosting from time to time. This old girl’s needs a major make-over that would probably require lying down in a darkened room for several hours before such an exercise could be attempted. Ah. That’s exactly what I did. I lay awake this morning. Thinking. Deadly. It must have been my subconscious at work; I had no idea that I was going to plunder my closet. But I am so glad that I did.
I feel cleansed. Thinned out. Less cluttered. Still a size 14 but who cares? I’m happy in myself and in my own skin. All I need to do now is buy some clothes that will fit that skin. Comfortably.
Have you ever done something on the spur of the moment and was pleased you did? Or something that you regret, maybe? Do let me know. I would love to hear from you.
Rosy x
I know the feeling. While purging my closet of tiny beautiful clothes I could never squeeze into again, I found a Chanel jacket that was already tight when I bought it at a sample sale, deeply discounted. I wore it three or four times, then life—and my waistline—changed. I thought of my Pilates teacher, who is smaller than I ever was and would wear it well. I sent the jacket on its way, feeling good about its new life.
That’s great! I know that feeling. I should probably clean my closet out, too. And my fridge 😬