Distractions, altercations and more bad news...
Just when I thought things couldn't get any worse
I am keeping this post for paid subscribers as it is very personal and also, it’s my way of thanking my loyal and generous supporters. Without them, my Substack would have folded long ago. The reason I keep going is because I receive so many compliments about my writing. You make me believe in myself as an author and you are the reason I keep showing up. Without you, I probably would have given up long ago. So, thank you, from the bottom of my heart.
When I fired up my laptop at 07:00 one morning, all raring to go, the wallpaper had changed, despite me thinking I had changed it permanently to a background of my choice. There was an exquisite butterfly resting on a beautiful flower. Perfect, I thought! How beautiful. It drew me in and I stared at it for several seconds, admiring the beauty and clarity of the photograph. And there we are heading down rabbit hole No. 1 and it’s not even 07:00. Thank you Bing! Of course, the next time I fired up, the butterfly had flown away and a ghastly rock formation covered my screen. I have now changed the background permanently to a beautiful white sandy beach, complete with palm trees and a turquoise ocean, which was taken in the Caribbean when I holidayed in Antigua some years ago. Distractions a writer can do without.
I managed to get some help with my Amazon account, the main platform where I sell my books. Who knew that it could be so complicated? Having set up what I thought was a pretty good author page, I was told it needed to be ‘Amazonized.’ Little nuggets of knowledge like this are so valuable. Key words, etc., apparently can all ‘tickle’ the algorithm to help get your book discovered. The bane of my life. Trying to get my book SEEN!
Then it was on to the next step. Setting up a count-down for an advertising promotion of said book. This entailed a set of notes that I could not make head nor tail of. It required me to set up four accounts on four different platforms in order that the advertising campaign could be launched to a precise time-scale. Honestly, I was losing the will to live. Why does everything have to be so complicated? I have put the ad campaign on hold. It is too draining and wears me down. I don’t seem to have the mental capacity to deal with these things any more. The financial implication was quite significant too. Another distraction from writing.
I thought I ought to get a new cover designed for my book to make it more professional looking. That was another rabbit hole that I went down. The cost for a local designer was between £150 and £200. Ouch! I decided to go ahead regardless. The designs which came back were not what I had in mind. In fact, one looked like a replica of one I had sent as a sample, so very disappointing. After weeks of to-ing and fro-ing, I put that project on hold too. Nothing rang my bell in the design stakes. After all, IF my book is picked up by an agent or publisher, they will do all that for me. I live in hope. This project was yet another distraction from my writing.
Whoever said self-publishing gives you freedom? It might give you freedom in some aspects of the publishing process, but personally, I find it far too draining on my time and energy. I don’t have the technical knowledge or the financial resources required so my book will probably die a horrible death. I don’t need another one of those and I don’t mean to be glib. My sister passed away in November from throat cancer and had the most horrible death imaginable. I can’t bear any more heartache.
I realised I hadn’t downloaded my bank statements, credit card statement, etc. for some time for record keeping on my tax returns. Another couple of hours lost down another rabbit-hole, albeit a necessary and important one, but another distraction.
Which brings me to the altercations part of this post. Not fisticuffs or anything like that (I’m far too refined for bar room brawls) but actual altercations with doors, storage boxes, you name it, I fight with it. My dressing gown sleeve caught on my bedroom door handle sending me slamming into the wall as I was dragged backwards. More haste, less speed is what I learnt from that debacle.
Then I put an LP which I had bought as a gift for my daughter’s boyfriend in a safe place, because I didn’t want it to get damaged. I moved it from the sofa in my office (in case some idiot (me) sat on it) to underneath the sofa on top of a large plastic storage box, in which I keep copies of my book which I have to hand to sell or give away. You see, the marketing aspect of being a writer NEVER goes away.
Anyway, I needed to access said box, but when I tried to move the LP, the plastic cover snagged on a zip and I could not wrestle it free. I am lying on the floor on my belly, twisting this way and that to try and free the darned thing. Eventually, I had to tear it free leaving a nasty little rip in the protective plastic cover. My question is what the hell was a zip doing on the underside of my sofa? Ah, I remember now. When it was delivered flat-pack, the legs were inside the zippered pocket. But why did the LP cover have to get snagged on it so badly that I couldn’t free it? Another one of life’s mysteries. And yes, another rabbit-hole to go down, physically this time, and more distractions.
Next, I am loading up my rucksack with copies of my book to sell on a stall at my local village hall. A great venue because (a) my book is set in said village and (b) I get to chat to my fellow villagers who, it turns out, are incredibly kind and complimentary about my book, The Mysterious Disappearance of Marsha Boden. Anyhow, back to packing the rucksack and I slide my iPhone in, which I need to take payments on - have you heard about SumUp? (The US-based link) A brilliant free app (here is the link if you are UK-based) which allows little folks like me to take payments which then go straight into my bank account. And the best thing is that it’s dead simple to use and you only get charged a few pennies per transaction. I actually downloaded the app on my phone and signed up through the app. (I must remember to download those statements for the Revenue people too…) Anyhow, as I slid the phone in, the torch came on. I can never get the torch to work by sliding or swiping up. NEVER. Now, it flicked on as easy as pie. Why? And why do these things always happen to me? Then I spent five minutes trying to turn the damned thing off…
I recently retired. It was more of an enforced retirement, actually.
